


Telepathic Texts

by Azurite_K



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: No beta we fall like Crowley, Other, archangels are hard to research what the fuck, satan is lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25598902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azurite_K/pseuds/Azurite_K
Summary: Greetings, I am God. My children have always looked for ways to communicate and they have found it. Want to take a look?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Telepathic Texts

Angels and Demons always had their similarities. They were from the same original stock after all. One of those similarities was the ability to communicate with each other telepathically. Over the years, both Angels and Demons have managed to perfect this ability. Nowadays, this ability can be used to address large crowds and also be used to communicate privately. In the interest of the human reader, this ability is similar to "texting" so I shall call it "Telepathic texts". 

When there are texts, there are "groupchats", where various humans/angels/demons can discuss things together. The Archangels have a group chat named "Archangels." The Princes of Hell have a group chat as well, named "Rulers of Hell👿".1 My children have quite interesting conversations in these telepathic group chats. Dear Reader, May I show you some?

** 2008, Archangels **

Gabriel: The Antichrist has arrived on Earth. -Gabriel 2

Michael: Is that so? Where is he? - Michael

Gabriel: A hospital in Tadfield. A coven of Satanic nuns are switching him with the child of an American Diplomat. -Gabriel

Michael: I see, Noted. - Micheal

Uriel: A coven of Satanic nuns? Humanity has fallen far, indeed. Why would they stray from Her light and Her wisdom? -Uriel

Michael: The apple has made them blind to Her light. I blame the Serpent Of Eden for introducing such a concept to them. They were never designed to know the difference between good and evil. -Michael

Uriel: Indeed. Who delivered the child? -Uriel

Gabriel: The Serpent of Eden. -Gabriel

Michael: [small laugh] How fitting. The Serpent of Eden, who started all of this, has now delivered the end of this. -Micheal

Uriel and Gabriel: [Laughs along]

Gabriel: Well, It will all be over in 11 years, when we finally show Hell which of us is more powerful. -Gabriel.

** 2008, Rulers of Hell👿  **

Beezlebub: Crowley has delivered the Antichrist, or so Hastur and Ligur tell me. 

Belphegor: [Yawns] Great~

Beezlebub: ...Bel are you in bed?! We are talking about Armageddon here!

Mammon: When is Bel not in bed, Bee? Calm down, that's their job. 

Belphegor: And I'm pretty competent at it too~ Have you not seen how lazy the humans have gotten over these years? They'll fall, alright. 

Leviathan: Ah... Bel's job looks so easy, I'm jealous. 

Mammon: [Snorts] Of course you do, Levi. Demon of Envy, remember?

Leviathan: You're the Demon of Greed, but I don't see you wanting all our jobs, Mammon.

Satan: Enough bickering, the two of you. Bee, is my son safe?

Leviathan: Sure, Lucy3

Mammon: Fine

Beezlebub: Yes, He is safe. He should be on his way home to the Dowling residence now. 

Satan: That is bad. In 11 years, he shall come into his power, and we shall finally show the Angels who is more powerful! We shall get our vengeance!

* * *

1\. [Yes, emojis are a thing in Hell. The more tech-savvy demons particularly like the confusion and chaos misinterpreting emojis causes in humans.]

2\. [Yes, they say their name after each message. They think this is a form of letter-writing]

3\. [Satan is Lucifer, and they call him Lucy for short] 


End file.
